Thursday, January 31, 2013

Top 12 Reasons to Vote Democrat

Top 12 Reasons to Vote Democrat - I was chatting with a client this morning, and she made a statement that stunned me to such a degree that I immediately felt weakened, short of breath, dizzy, and unable to focus clearly. I stumbled to my chair, fell into it, took a large swallow of spring water, and said, "Certainly, mine ears failed me! I imagined you said that you voted Democrat." She assured me that is what she said. I fell into a delirium.

After a time, my breathing stabilized, my vision cleared, and I said, "Surely you have misread today's calendar and imagine it to be April 1st!" She assured me she was serious, and she listed her Top 12 Reasons for Voting Democrat:

  • 1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
  • 2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
  • 3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
  • 4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody Is offended by it.
  • 5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
  • 6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if It will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a GM Chevy Volt.
  • 7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
  • 8. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health-care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
  • 9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
  • 10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
  • 11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, than to drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
  • 12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my behind it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

  • Wednesday, January 30, 2013

    Zombie Road Trip

    Zombie Road Trip - If you have an Android device, by all means grab the new game, "Zombie Road Trip"! It is FREE in the Google Play Store.

    If you have an iOS device, you are a zombie.

    "Zombie Road Trip" is an endless game: Gameplay stops only stops if you get eaten by the zombie horde trailing you. Race for your life, and you will be faced with zombies in all shapes and sizes. Tap the screen to fire your weapon. While you're driving through the various scenes, you can flip and do stunts each time you get airborne. Each successful stunt or zombie kill gives you coins that you can use to buy cars and weapons. The controls are easy: Tap the bottom right to tilt clockwise, and the bottom left to tile counter-clockwise. Tapping anywhere on the screen fires your weapon.

    Monday, January 28, 2013


    Hypocrisy - I have never considered Stephen King to be a great author. He has certainly attained mass popularity, but I do not consider popularity to be a determinant by which literature, music, or food should be judged. Were it so, a pimple-faced teen flipping patties at the local Burger King would easily outpace Wolfgang Puck as a paradigm of epicurean artistry.

    Regardless of Stephen King's lack of achievement with concern to the characteristics of literature or scholarly writing, one pronouncement regarding King's writing must be given him: He is generally accepted as the modern-day master of horror.

    Eschewing the parallel drawn by critics of questionable merit between the writings of Stephen King and those of Edgar Allan Poe—truly a masterful author and literary genius—as common sense and a concern for maintaining the integrity of Poe's legacy demand, one must nonetheless accept that King's writings have certainly earned their classification in the "horror" genre.

    I admit to having read several of King's books and short stories. I found them entertaining—albeit pedestrian—and agree quickly that his introduction and development of horror themes in his works is that for which he is best known. Although I would not go so far as to consider myself a "fan," I have enjoyed many of his tales.

    From this date forward, however, I shall never read anything he produces; nor shall I view any movie based upon his writing.

    King is himself a gun owner. He owns several handguns and rifles at his suburban Maine home.

    In an essay/rant he recently published, however, his hypocrisy is astounding:

    "One only wishes Wayne LaPierre and his NRA board of directors could be drafted to some of these scenes, where they would be required to put on booties and rubber gloves and help clean up the blood, the brains, and the chunks of intestine still containing the poor wads of half-digested food that were some innocent bystander's last meal."

    This is an hypocrisy that is mirrored by many of the entertainment industry. It is an hypocrisy founded solely upon the most basic "do as I say—not as I do" ethic that is, unfortunately, rampant currently among those who are purveyors of horror and gore—by which they approach, attract, and entertain their fan base—all the while moronically supporting an anti-gun platform that runs fully counterpoint to their professional lives.

    Friday, January 25, 2013

    TGIF, Taxes, and Gun Control

    TGIF - TGIF, Indeed! It seems to me that this year is passing very quickly. I realize that, in actuality, such is an impossibility: Each day is of equal length, each week equals the time of the prior week, and so on and so on and so forth.

    Nonetheless—although it is, I realize, only a sensation and not a reality—it does truly seem that this year is passing quickly. It is nearly February, and I do not have a clear sensation that January has nearly passed. Perchance this feeling is simply a result of the general malaise under the thrall of which I have fallen and the desire for this season to pass quickly.

    I cry out for sunshine, warmth, blue skies, and singing birds. It seems that as years pass and age accumulates upon me, more and more I long for the kinder, gentler time of yesteryear: Television and movies mirror the moral decay that has taken place during the last decade, at most.

    All this was, certainly, predicated upon the removal of prayer from schools. This allowed the moral fabric of this nation to decay to such an extent that philosophical belief systems that previously had been patently unacceptable became fully acceptable—while we slept, as it were—and that which previously had been considered immoral became the "new normal."

    I cling to the values of old and eschew all else. I am in the world, yet I am not of the world!

    Taxes - I e-filed our state and federal income tax returns earlier this week. I cannot explain why I avoid doing this, since the process is relatively simple and takes but a few minutes. I use QuickBooks(r) to do my accounting throughout the year, and I use TurboTax(r) to prepare and e-file my returns. TurboTax(r) quickly and easily grasps the information it needs from QuickBooks(r), and the entire process takes but 20 minutes or so.

    Gun Control - As I have said many times, "Gun control is all a matter of shot placement!"

    Thursday, January 24, 2013

    Millionaires Leaving California

    Millionaires Leaving California - Millionaires are leaving California due to increased taxes. I am not a millionaire. I will stay.

    Wednesday, January 23, 2013


    Warm - I felt very warm (comparatively) when I saw the outside temperature this morning at 7 AM reported to be a blazing 45°! I recalled the last several days of significantly lower morning temperatures, and today's temperature caused me to smile broadly and anticipate gleefully entering Mr. Nitro R/T's cabin without facing a frosty carapace on his windshield.

    I then saw a news segment on Fox Sacramento that showed a gentleman in Fargo, North Dakota, tossing boiling water into the air. The water immediately turned to ice crystals that fell to the ground. Watching this made me feel warmer yet!

    Tuesday, January 22, 2013


    Cats - I anticipate today to be filled with distasteful chores: The toads require hydration, the gargoyles need dusting, and so on and so on and so forth. Yes, there shall be no time for dilly dallying today, I warrant. I shall, therefore, enjoy these few moments I have free to caper prior to beginning the toiling.


    Monday, January 21, 2013


    Food - I fell ill Friday afternoon. While not fully recovered, I am considerably better today and expect to be completely well soon—the result of Laura's care of me during my period of illness.

    For several days, I slept little at night and maintained a languid state during the day. I had no appetite and ate little until yesterday—at which time Laura produced such a feast that a great lust for food was awakened within me.

    Laura placed an excellent dry-rub on a nice tri-tip.

    She washed a quantity of little neck clams and placed them in a bamboo steamer.

    She steamed the clams perfectly and served them with a dipping sauce made of extra-virgin garlic-infused olive oil, Pappy's Seasoning, butter, and basil. This was a wonderful appetizer.

    She grilled the tri-tip perfectly—seared and crunchy on the outside and rare in the center.

    At the table, I used wasabi as a condiment for the tri-tip. Laura used teriyaki sauce.

    Laura baked some Ore-Ida Fast Food Fries to complete the delicious meal.

    Saturday, January 19, 2013

    Gun Appreciation Day

    Gun Appreciation Day - Today is Gun Appreciation Day throughout the United States. Here are some local rallies:

    Saturday – 19th – Gun Appreciation Rallies:
    Redding: Noon to 2 PM - Corner of Cypress Avenue and Hilltop Drive
    Red Bluff: 11 AM to 1 PM – Antelope Boulevard and Main Street
    Yreka: 10 AM to 1 PM – 1301 Main Street
    Corning: 11 AM to 3 PM – NAPA parking lot, 2025 Solano Street

    Friday, January 18, 2013

    Scam Call, Gun Appreciation Day, and Using Android Tablet to Paint with GIMP

    Scam Call - My office telephone rang. I looked at the Caller ID, and it reported, “Private Name” and no telephone number. Generally, I do not answer these calls. It was slow at my office, and I was in a playful mood, so I answered, "Hello."

    CALLER: Is David there, please?
    ME: Yes.
    CALLER: May I talk to him, please?
    ME: Yes.
    (Following a silence of approximately 45 seconds:)
    CALLER: Is this David?
    ME: No.
    CALLER: Is David there?
    ME: Yes.
    CALLER: May I talk to him?
    ME: Yes.
    (Following a silence of approximately 45 seconds:)
    CALLER: Is this David?
    ME: Yes. Who is this?
    CALLER: This is Cynthia from HRI Net. (I Googled “HRI Net” and quickly determined there was only a health-services company by that name.)
    ME: Hello, Cindy.
    ME: Good. Now, Cindy, how are you today?
    CALLER: I’m fine, thanks.
    ME: You do not mind if I call you, “Cindy,” do you, Cindy?
    CALLER: No. That’s fine.
    ME: That is wonderful. I am glad to hear that. How is the weather there?
    CALLER: It’s fine.
    ME: Great. Now, Cindy, I know you are very busy, so I will make this brief.
    CALLER: Uh. Uh. I called you.
    ME: Well, it really matters little who called whom, do not you agree?
    CALLER: I called you.
    ME: Well, of course you did. As I said, that is of no importance. I know you are busy, so I will make this brief.
    CALLER: I called you.
    ME: If you prefer, by all means do so. (I cradled the receiver.)
    The phone rang. The same Caller ID displayed.
    ME: Howdy, Cindy. Now, what I can I do for you today?
    CALLER: Your computer’s got a virus and it’s just going to get worse. I can fix it for you quick from here. Just do what I say so I can access your system files and fix the problem.
    ME: Cindy, it is truly disheartening that your computer is infected, but that would be an issue you would want to hand over to your IT people. Now, if you are ready, I have the figures you requested.
    CALLER: Not me. You’ve got virus infecting your computer and I can fix it for you.
    ME: I have given it some thought, and I think I like “Cynthia” better. I will call you, “Cynthia” if you do not mind.
    CALLER: What?
    ME: If you do not like your full name, I can call you, “Cindy.” It makes no difference to me.
    CALLER: What?
    ME: I am glad you agree. Now, how may I be of service, Cynthia?
    CALLER: Your computer’s got a virus and it’s real bad but I can fix it if you just type in what I tell you to.
    ME: Cynthia, how do you know your computer has a virus? Did you scan your system? Are you using anti-virus software? What anti-virus software are you using?
    CALLER: YOU have the virus. I don’t have it. YOU do!
    ME: Well, I think I told you, Cynthia, that is for the IT guys to fix. Do not try to fix it on your own. You might make it worse. Just call your IT guys.
    CALLER: You don’t get it. Your computer’s messed up and I can fix it for you if you just type in what I tell you to.
    ME: Cynthia, all this computer talk is boring me. I say we move on to something more interesting. Do you like guns, Cynthia?
    CALLER: What?
    ME: Do you like guns? We’re having a wild pig hunt this weekend, and you are invited. What guns do you have?
    CALLER: What are you talking about?
    ME: The hide on those critters is tough. I will be using a Desert Eagle .50 AE semi-automatic pistol and an HK-91 .308 cal rifle. What guns do you have, Cynthia?
    CALLER: Guns? I hate guns. They should all be banned.
    ME: Well, Cynthia, I think we should go our separate ways now. A wild pig hunt is NOT for you, Cynthia. Have a nice day.

    I am getting ready for Gun Appreciation Day!

    Thursday, January 17, 2013

    Inversion Layer, Mopar Breaking Bad, and DIYDigital HDTV Antenna

    Inversion Layer - This morning, the temperature was 31° at 7 AM. A mere 50 miles from here (Paradise, CA), it was 55° at that time—as a result of an inversion layer.

    The high today is forecast to be 71° here, while the temperature in Paradise is predicted to rise only 4°—to a high of 59°.

    I had depleted the windshield washer fluid in Mr. Nitro R/T's reservoir earlier this week. I braved the frosty weather this morning and re-filled the reservoir. When I positioned myself in Mr. Nitro's cabin and actuated the wiper/washer, it became apparent that the fluid had frozen in the lines. I sat and waited impatiently while Mr. Nitro's defroster melted the carapace of rime on his windshield.

    Mopar Breaking Bad - I cried when I saw the Challenger explode!

    DIY Digital HD TV Antenna - We discontinued DirecTV years ago and use Roku(R) units on our four LCD HDTVs. This affords us over 7,500 channels. At times, we enjoy watching local news, however, and for this purpose, I installed an RCA HDTV antenna. If you wish to avoid the $25 or so an HDTV antenna will cost, here is an easy build that will cost less than a dollar!:

    Wednesday, January 16, 2013

    Operation Wicked Web and Bizarre News

    Operation "Wicked Web" - A three-month undercover investigation in Tehama County dubbed "Operation Wicked Web" has culminated with the arrests of 26 people, including one minor. District attorney investigators have been identifying people who use the Internet for criminal activity, specifically narcotics dealers and sexual predators. Investigators arranged to buy and sell drugs with people they met while chatting online. Authorities also posed as underage children and talked with persons who were interested in having sex with minors. In each case, the persons were identified and subsequently arrested.

    Here are Photographs, Names, and Charges of Suspects in "Operation Wicket Web":

  • 1PhotosofSubjects.doc

    Bizarre News - As always, today's news is replete with oddities.

  • 200 "global warming" protesters greeted with freezing weather, snow
  • NYPD wants GPS tracking chips on prescription bottles
  • Six-year-old boys suspended from school for pointing fingers
  • Thousands of fish mysteriously wash up on South Carolina beach

  • Tuesday, January 15, 2013

    Cold Weather, Ted Nugent, Gun Control, and the New Jeep Grand Cherokee

    Cold Weather - It was a frosty 28° when I slithered into Mr. Nitro R/T this morning. His windshield was encased within a carapace of rime. Fortunately, the windshield washer fluid was not frozen, and a few squirts and a few swipes of the wipers cleared the windshield nicely.

    Not far from here, temperatures of 4° were reported. This news did not, however, cause me to feel significantly warmer!

    Ted Nugent - Ted Nugent—or "Uncle Ted," as he is very affectionately known to his millions of fans—was rocking arenas when most extant rock stars were in diapers. He continues to rock hard today and is a true rock legend. He is also an avid hunter, gun and bow enthusiast, and strong supporter and defender of the Second Amendment.

    On his Web site—Ted Nugent Ammo, he thoroughly endorses and supports the hunting lifestyle and the right of the individual to keep and bear arms. He also markets high-quality ammunition in most popular calibers.

    2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee - The 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is a sweet ride!

    Monday, January 14, 2013

    Dead Trees, Verizon JetPack MiFi, and Entertainment Systems

    Dead Trees - If you read Saturday's blog post, you will be familiar with the two trees that adorned a section of Solano Street 50 yards from my office until an inebriated woman crashed into them and uprooted them last Thursday at 4 PM. In my post, I said that I felt secure in the notion that the trees would be replanted and survive nicely.

    Unfortunately, while Laura and I returned to our nest following Sunday service at Harvest Christian Center, we saw that the trees had not been replanted. This saddened us greatly. Hopefully, the trees will be replaced soon with healthy trees.

    Verizon JetPack MiFi - The Verizon Jetpack™ 4G LTE Mobile Hotspot - MiFi® 4620L is an awesome device. I have seen download speeds in excess of 20,000kbps.

    Here are some examples of the unit in use:
    1 = DigitalPath wireless Internet connection at home
    2 = MiFi Wi-Fi Hot Spot inside church
    3 = MiFi Wi-Fi Hot Spot in Nitro in front of our house
    4 = MiFi Wi-Fi Hot Spot in Nitro in wilderness 35 miles from Corning
    5 = MiFi Wi-Fi Hot Spot in Cocodine restaurant in Chico
    6 = MiFi Wi-Fi Hot Spot in Nitro in Raley’s parking lot in Chico

    Entertainment Systems - Lately, several have inquired regarding our entertainment systems. Here is what we use to access movies and television programming:


  • Vizio® 49” LCD HDTV
  • Kenwood® 200W Dolby Digital Plus HT Receiver
  • JBL® Speakers – Front Channels, Rear Channels, Center Channel, Powered Subwoofer
  • Roku® unit connected via HDMI providing access to 7,000+ channels via 6,000kbps wireless Internet connection
  • 18.3” Hewlett-Packard® Intel® i7 Entertainment Laptop connected via HDMI
  • Sony® Blu-ray DVD player connected via HDMI
  • Vizio® 39” LCD HDTV
  • Roku® unit connected via HDMI providing access to 7,000+ channels via 6,000kbps wireless Internet connection
  • Sanyo® 19” LCD HDTV
  • Roku® unit connected via HDMI providing access to 7,000+ channels via 6,000kbps wireless Internet connection
  • Vizio® 39” LCD HDTV
  • Onkyo® 250W Dolby Digital Plus HT Receiver
  • Onkyo® Speakers – Front Channels, Rear Channels, Center Channel, Powered Subwoofer
  • Roku® unit connected via HDMI providing access to 7,000+ channels via 6,000kbps wireless Internet connection
  • Hewlett-Packard® Intel® i7 Graphic Workstation connected via HDMI
  • Pioneer® Blu-ray burner/player
  • 2 Motorola® Droid X smartphones
  • 2 ASUS® Transformer Prime 10.1” tablets
  • 1 ASUS® Google Nexus 7 7” tablet
  • 1 Verizon® JetPack 4G/ LTE MiFi wireless Hot Spot

  • Saturday, January 12, 2013

    It Is Not Easy Being a Tree

    It Is Not Easy Being a Tree - A tree must:

  • Be planted
  • Be watered
  • Get plenty of sunshine and fresh air
  • AND—above all—survive being uprooted by an automobile!

    These two trees were not prepared for being crashed into by an automobile. A tree, however, cannot be expected to be self-preparatory for such an event. After all, a tree is just that—a tree!

    Photograph by Julie R. Johnson/Corning Observer

    The two trees in this photograph were crashed into and uprooted by an 86-year-old female driver who—following a visit to a local hospital—was arrested for driving under the influence.

    Such accidents often involve other drivers, passengers, or pedestrians—innocent bystanders.

    In this instance, there were no other people involved. The trees were the only victims. The trees will receive replanting and good care. I have no doubt that they will survive.

    This accident took place Thursday at 4 PM—a mere 50 yards approximately from my office. I happened upon the scene while driving home from my office. At the time, I prayed no one was injured.

    People who drive while impaired by intoxication, lack of sleep, or distraction from cell-phone use, music selection, etc., are SELFISH! They think only of themselves and not of those whom they endanger.

  • Friday, January 11, 2013

    Encased Within a Chitinous Carapace of Rime

    Encased Within a Chitinous Carapace of Rime - Mr. Nitro R/T's windshield and driver side window were encased within a chitinous carapace of rime this morning.

    Fortunately, it was 31° outdoors when I slithered into Mr. Nitro's cabin and surveyed the icy encrustation. While it was obviously sufficiently cold for ice to form mightily, it was not so cold that the windshield washer fluid was affected adversely. All that was required was the squirting of a small quantity of windshield washer fluid and a few passes of the wiper blades in order to clear the windshield.

    Whilst awaiting the fluid and blades to complete their appointed tasks, I realized that—while I had replaced the windshield wiper blades days previous with high-end Bosch ION wiper blades—the rear window wiper blade was due for replacement. I shall order such an one this morning.

    Soon, the Big Brown Truck will arrive. I shall see it arrive on CATCam.

    I shall watch the driver exit and walk to my door with our new Oster TSSTTRWF4S 4-Slice Toaster in hand.

    We have had our current toaster for 12 years. It has served us well, but it is showing its age and lately has not been functioning properly. Out it goes. I did a considerable amount of research prior to ordering the new Oster toaster. While reasonably priced, this unit has dozens of reviews that praise it highly—easily outshining units costing twice as much as its $37 price. As I generally do, I ordered the toaster from I enjoy the free shipping (and the free movies and television programs!) afforded by our Prime membership.

    Thursday, January 10, 2013

    It Is COLD! and New Windshield Wiper Blades

    It Is COLD! - The temperature when I departed our nest this morning at 7:25 AM was 33°. This was stated by the local weatherman, Rob Blair, and mirrored by Mr. Nitro R/T's temperature probe.

    When I settled into my perch here at my office and began this blog post, the temperature had dropped to 28°! The first task I performed was making a large mug of hot Mighty Leaf Green tea with honey. Sipping this warms me quickly. I must, however, eschew viewing the temperature display on my Desktop.

    New Windshield Wiper Blades - I recently replaced Mr. Nitro R/T's windshield wiper blades. The Rain-X wiper blades were three years old. It was prudent, I felt, to replace them before they became troublesome. I did a good deal of research and found what I determined to be the best wiper blades—Bosh ICON.

    Each year, more and more vehicle manufacturers are specifying beam blades as original equipment. Beam (or flat) wiper blades are designed without metal or plastic brackets, joints or hinges, offering design and performance improvements over conventional wiper blades. The award-winning design of Bosch ICON™ distributes more uniform pressure along the entire length of the blade for ultimate all-season performance that lasts up to 40% longer than other premium wiper blades. Bosch ICON™ is the perfect choice for your wiper blade replacement needs.

    The new blades are awesome. I ordered a set for Laura's Challenger, and I shall install them this weekend.

    YIKES!!!! It is now 26°!!!!!

    Wednesday, January 09, 2013

    Windows 8 , Cold Weather, and Guitars

    Windows 8 - A client bought a new Hewlett-Packard laptop yesterday and bemoaned that Windows 8 had no Start menu or shell. I recommended that he install the free shell application, Classic Shell—available at

    Cold Weather - It is not particularly cold this morning: It is 43° currently (8:15 AM) and forecast to be in the low 60s this afternoon. This weekend, however, forecasts are for lows of 24° to 26°. YIKES! That is COLD!

    Laura took her Fender Special Edition Telecaster to work with her this morning. It is a beautiful guitar. Under my tutelage, Laura is learning to play. She has learned to tune her guitar and has mastered several chords. She will be a good student.

    Here is my guitar--a Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro.

    Soon, we shall be making music together. I like that prospect a good deal!

    Tuesday, January 08, 2013

    Fog, Sunshine, Stupidity In the News, and True Facts About Sloths

    Fog - It was 42° when I traveled to mine office this morning at 7:30 AM. That is a very pleasant and welcome temperature for this time of year at that time of day. It was particularly pleasant, since the wind was a mere 2 MPH.

    Unfortunately, the humidity was 95%, and the dew point was 42°. The dew point is the temperature below which the water vapor in a volume of humid air at a constant barometric pressure will condense into liquid water. Condensed water is called dew when it forms on a solid surface.

    Mr. Nitro R/T was fully bathed in dew this morning.

    The dew point is a water-to-air saturation temperature. The dew point is associated with relative humidity. A high relative humidity indicates that the dew point is closer to the current air temperature.

    This weather condition produced fog. As always—albeit with increased fervor during bad weather—I prayed Laura's journey to work in Chico would be without issue. It is very comforting to me knowing that Laura is an excellent driver. She has taken defensive driving training and puts her training into practice at all times.

    Stupidity In the News

  • ORLANDO, Fla. - A College Park couple's vegetable garden is on the chopping block again after the city threatened $500 per day fines if they don't uproot it by Thursday.
  • Manhattan Restaurant Offers $2,000 Plate of Pasta
  • $99 "smart fork" watches what you eat
  • Fake mission to Mars leaves astronauts spaced out
  • BOOK: Scientologists believe Holocaust was planned and carried out by psychiatrists
  • New Social Network Created -- for Cats!
  • CA lawmaker calls for "bullet control"

    True Facts About Sloths - WARNING: There is a bit of foul language in this video. Please excuse this. The video is such a delight I could not eschew it!

  • Monday, January 07, 2013


    Telemarketers - I loathe telemarketers, and I find their calls to be disruptive, invasive, and fully without merit.

    I shared with a client last Friday how I generally answer telephone calls that appear to be from telemarketers. If the Caller ID for an incoming call shows any of a number of displays I have come to associate with telemarketers, I usually answer the call by saying:

    "You have reached an active crime scene. Who are you, and how did you get this number?"

    Generally, the call is quickly and quietly ended by the caller at this point.

    Should a telemarketer be unusually tenacious and attempt to initiate his spiel, I continue,

    "Your phone number is being traced. Do not disconnect! An agent will be on the line soon to conduct an interview. Do not disconnect!"

    That generally does it.

    My client was most impressed and will, I have no doubt, soon be using this technique to deal with telemarketers!

    Friday, January 04, 2013

    Welcome to the Jungle!

    Welcome to the Jungle! - Each day, I find myself increasingly less surprised by stories in the news. Yesterday, it was the two teenage girls who drugged the parents of one in order to gain unsupervised access to the Internet. Apparently, the parents routinely disabled the Internet connection at 10 PM each evening.

    I am often told I have a very active imagination. I am, however, incapable of imagining what appeal the Internet could possibly offer that would allow these girls to rationalize their actions.

    Today, I encountered the following:

  • "Cops Kicked Out Of Denny's For Being Armed"

    - Apparently, a Denny's manager told two cops they must leave their guns in their car or leave the restaurant. It would seem to me that having armed LEOs would be welcomed. Subsequently, the Chief of Police issued a ban on officers eating at Denny's.

  • "Potheads Could Soon Get Weed From Vending Machines"

    - The vending machines would require a fingerprint scan to verify the identification of the patient, which is then linked to a prescription on file. This signals the decline of our society directly and to a degree unequaled by anything else I have encountered recently.

  • "Second Trooper Suspended Over Roadside Cavity Search"

    - This story is genuinely creepy.

  • "Connecticut Town To Burn Violent Video Games"

    - This absurdity invites no comment.

  • "Woman Finds Bike Lost 50 Years Ago Swallowed By Tree"

    - It is simply astounding that the bike was able to successfully elude detection for 50 years.

  • "Inmates Sue Beer Company, Saying Booze Made Them Do It

    - They walk among us.

  • Jewel Thieves Pop Up At KFC"

    - Perhaps these Mensa rejects relied upon Apple Maps.

  • "Woman Honors Her Dead Cats With Tattoos"

    - Great Scott!

  • Woman Accuses Ghost Of Stealing Her Résumé"

    - Really?

  • Thursday, January 03, 2013


    COLD - COLD - COLD! - It is currently 28° at 8:05 AM! The fluid in Mr. Nitro's windshield washer reservoir was frozen this morning! It was necessary for me to sit, shivering, in Mr. Nitro and impatiently await the defrosting of his windshield. Generally, a liberal squirting of windshield washing fluid significantly accelerates the clearing of the icy carapace that has formed on Mr. Nitro's windshield during the night, but today this was not an option!

    It has actually become 2 degrees colder in the last 30 minutes! Fortunately, there is no wind whatever.

    A small mountain town near here—Chester, on the shore of scenic Lake Almanor—is enjoying a temperature of MINUS 2 DEGREES this morning! YIKES!

    A WORLD SLITHERING INTO MADNESS - If one harbored any doubt that this world is slithering into madness, consider this: Placer Teens Drug Parents to Get Internet Access, Police Say - Two teenage girls in Placer County are in legal trouble after they allegedly used a drugged milkshake to knock out one of the girls' parents so they could access the Internet, Rocklin police said.

    The DA is considering charging the girls as adults, which would make their crime a felony. Try as I might, I cannot imagine the Internet offering any attraction that would cause anyone to act in this manner.

    Surely, this is pure madness!

    Wednesday, January 02, 2013

    Hello, 2013

    Hello, 2013 - Am I perchance solitary in imagining that last year passed quickly? It certainly seems that way to me. As I sit here at my desk in my office I find myself absorbed in meditation over the past year—musing, if you will—and consumed by the concept that 2012 passed significantly more quickly than prior years.

    It would be a simple matter to continue with mental concentration on this issue of 2012, however, it is time to move ahead. In doing so, I offer as closure the notion that 2012 seems to have passed quickly because the year seemed to pass quickly because the year was filled with so much tragedy, violence, uncertainty, and disappointment that I wanted it to pass quickly and, therefore, imagined that it did.

    I must busy myself with other issues and attend to the daily business at hand—else, I fear, I would slip slowly but surely into a delirium and quickly find myself unable to successfully perform the various tasks so necessary to my daily agenda. I cannot allow this and must discontinue herewith my absorption relative to the year past.

    Hello, 2013! What better way to greet the new year than by browsing lists of new laws greeting Californians today?

    Here are the new laws greeting Californians today: List of New California Laws 2013

    Here are the new gun laws greeting Californians today: New California Gun Laws 2013

    What? That was not inspiring? All those new laws did not brighten your day?

    Well, imagine that!

    Sit back, relax, and be entertained!