Hic! - liquor chief charged with drunken driving
Bang! - police bullet lodged in gunman's weapon
Whoa! - man driving horse and cart escapes cops
POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday)
Q: What European city is home to the largest number of rodents?
An article in National Geographic several years ago provided an interesting picture of God's wings.
After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.
When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.
She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived, the heat had scorched her small body, yet the mother had remained steadfast. She had been willing to die so those under the cover of her wings would live.
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4)
Here is a photograph taken this morning of the crowd of people waiting to visit me! Ah, so many fans yet so little time! Click to enlarge.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
It's a Dogg's Life - rapper arrested at Heathrow Airport
Left Behind - surgeons find 8-inch forceps in girl's abdomen
Shut Up! - teacher charged with taping students' mouths
69 degrees at 8:30 AM! Spring has arrived! Yesterday afternoon was so warm that I was tempted to turn on the air conditioning! I did not, however; I could not bring myself to lower the interior temperature after waiting so long for this warm weather to arrive!
Our annual Car Show is near (May 12th and 13th), so this beautiful weather is welcomed with great glee!
The local market, Sav-Mor Foods, had London Broil on sale for $2.59 per pound. I selected a beautiful specimen Tuesday night on the way home from the office, and we had it for dinner last evening. Laura put a spicy dry rub on it and grilled it perfectly. I made a side dish with rigatoni, extra-virgin olive oil, Cajun spices, red pepper flakes, and assorted baby vegetables (zucchini, green beans, white onions, red and yellow bell peppers, yellow squash, and carrots). It was a delightful meal.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Queerly Beloved - suit filed after Kentucky college ousts gay man
The Price Is Not Right - woman with 97 cents gets $328,000 home
Ghost Story - police see paranormal activity in British pub
Yesterday morning was overcast and a bit breezy, but the sun appeared just after noon, and the balance of the day was beautiful! Today, the sun is shining brightly, and it was 65 degrees at 8:30 AM! Perhaps spring is finally here!
This morning, a visitor arrived at my office with the sole intent of vehemently opposing homeschooling, in general, and my espousal of it, in particular. I explained that while she was certainly welcome to share her views by commenting on my blog, I had neither the time nor the desire to listen to her rantings in person. She became calm, apologized, and said that she would express her views in a comment. While natural curiosity causes me to wonder why she is so dramatically opposed to homeschooling, this curiosity is not sufficiently strong to overcome my desire to begin the day undisturbed. I shared this with her, and she nodded and slithered off into the vast outdoors.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Barely Illegal - cop sits nude on woman's picnic table
Santa? - naked man stuck in chimney
Black Magic Woman - witchcraft legalized in Romania
This year will be the biggest homeschool convention season ever. The homeschool movement continues to grow. Nearly every state now has a homeschool convention. The season starts in March and usually ends in late July. This year, California has six conventions, Illinois and Texas have five, and Tennessee and Indiana have four. If you want to find out what is happening in your state, simply go to Google and enter "Homeschool Conventions," and you will get a national listing of conventions from Alabama to Wisconsin.
If you are thinking of homeschooling, get to one of these conventions, attend the workshops, listen to the speakers, and examine what the vendors have to offer. Talk to homeschooling mothers and fathers, and look at the homeschooled kids. You will easily conclude that homeschooling is the healthiest and most exciting educational phenomenon in America today.
The homeschool movement is, for the most part, a Christian phenomenon. This should surprise no one. Christians have been most sensitive to what the public schools have been doing since the 1960s to de-Christianize education. Children in the public schools are at risk in four significant ways: academically, spiritually, morally and physically.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Like a Rolling Stone - Mick Jagger refuses to let George Bush have hotel suite
Satanvision - TV seance claims to have reached John Lennon
Hold On! - grandmother's embrace saves child from deadly crash
POSERS: (Congratulations to Cap'n Jack for solving both Posers!)
Q: What sort of attire does an attorney wear?
A: A lawsuit.
Q: What do you call an American dance icon in a sensory deprivation tank?
A: Isadora Dunkin'.
The weather yesterday was incredibly beautiful! It was a perfect day for barbecuing baby back ribs. Laura tended the ribs for four hours, mopping every 15 minutes with a cider vinegar, ground ginger, garlic powder, and chili powder solution. The final hour of cooking, Laura switched to a spray containing one part extra-virgin olive oil and three parts balsamic vinegar. The ribs were cooked over indirect heat, bone side down, and never moved until they were done. The meat was crusty on the outside, moist on the inside, and fell cleanly from the bone. The meat was incredibly delicious! A potato salad consisting of quartered baby red potatoes, large green onion slices, diced red bell pepper, sliced Jalapeño peppers, marinated artichoke hearts, cilantro, balsamic vinegar, ground black pepper, and Cajun spices accompanied the pig. OINK! OINK! Sierra Nevada Summerfest was a delightful quaff.
Philomena, my Hewlett-Packard 2785 iPAQ PDA, required rebooting last week. When she restarted, I was prompted to swipe my right index finger. Oddly, Philomena refused to recognize my fingerprint! After five unsuccessful attempts, I was prompted to answer a security question, "What is your pet's name?" Philomena refused to accept "Zeus" as the answer, although it is the correct answer. Following her rejection of the password, Philomena offered no option other than a complete reinitialization! I shall never again institute such security measures! Many hours have been spent reconfiguring the system, reinstalling applications, resynchronizing Contacts, etc. Yikes!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Just Say No - Baylor warns students against appearing in Playboy
Sign Here - man busted over neighbor's Chinese takeout
Permit Me - Forest Service fines Larry Csonka
POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday.)
Q: What sort of attire is worn by an attorney?
It is another beautiful day today! I picked up a huge London Broil and a large batch of baby back pig ribs at the market on my way home yesterday afternoon. Laura cut the London Broil in half, froze half, and grilled half, along with red bell pepper, Jalapeño peppers, white mushrooms, and white potato. She did a spicy dry rub on the cow flesh and sprayed it and the other items with a mixture of one part extra-virgin olive oil and three parts balsamic vinegar during the roasting process. The London Broil was perfect--charred on the outside and very rare in the center.
The pig will get tossed onto the grill tomorrow and slow-cooked for several hours. Laura will apply a spicy dry rub prior to tossing it onto the grill, and she will tend to it throughout the cooking process, mopping it with a ginger and garlic vinegar solution every 20 minutes. There are few aromas that approach the delightful smell of roasting pig flesh!
It could be worse! Here is an image from a gas purchase in Beverly Hills, CA, this morning!
Here is a photograph of RAMMMMM showing that his name is indeed RAMMMMM! Click to enlarge.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Knock Knock - fake door-to-door breast exam doctor busted
With This Ring - man advertises for child bride with yard sign
Drive My Car - 8-year-old takes teacher's minivan for trip home
Regardless of the outcome of the Duke lacrosse rape case, there are lessons to be learned: You can greatly reduce the chances of being charged with rape if you do not hire strange women to come to your house and take their clothes off for money. Also, you can greatly reduce your chances of being raped if you do not go to strange men's houses and take your clothes off for money. Bad behavior does not excuse other bad behavior, certainly, but it can explain it.
The weather is beautiful again today: The day is sunny, warm, and filled with the singing of birds! Forecasts still call for rain this weekend, but gazing at the morning sky makes this prospect seem remote. If the weather holds, there will be pig ribs roasting on the grill Saturday. The grill tasted flesh last Sunday when chicken was fed it, and it is a hungry, feral beast that cries out for more flesh!
Here is a photograph I took of The Greg Kihn Band in concert in the gym at CSUC in 1974. Click to enlarge.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The Big Picture - Panasonic unveils 103-inch plasma screen
Run Chicken Little! - huge chunks of ice fall in California
In the Doghouse - over 200 dogs found in garden shed
It was 65 degrees in my office when I arrived at 8:30 AM! I am wearing shorts--my preferred attire, certainly--for the first time in many months. The forecast is for more rain this weekend, but it is certainly difficult to imagine this happening while contemplating the glorious sky!
Under pressure to boost growth, Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is retooling its strategy to pry money from the hands of wealthier, more style-conscious customers by offering a broader array of more fashionable goods.
Wal-Mart Stores USA CEO Eduardo Castro-Wright said Tuesday that the world's largest retailer, whose famous tag-line is "Always Low Prices," would unveil an array of higher-priced lawn chairs and fluffy towels, as well as trendier clothing, including a new hip-hop brand for young males called Exsto.
I suppose this makes some sort of sense to the Wal-Mart marketing department, but to me it seems patently bizarre!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Mission Unthinkable - Tom Cruise vows to eat his baby's placenta
Prayer Power - homeless man returns lost wallet with $900
Hippity Hop - Easter Bunny busted for attacking woman
Kevin Ray Underwood--a 26-year-old Oklahoma grocery worker--was arraigned yesterday on first-degree murder charges in the killing of a 10-year-old girl in what authorities said was an elaborate plan to eat human flesh. The Fox News Channel was reporting this story yesterday when a client who was in my office at the time asked me, "What do you think about the death penalty?" "In general, or specific to this case?" I asked. "Both," she replied. "In general, I believe the death penalty is imposed altogether too infrequently, and the process is inexcusably protracted. In this case, I believe the death penalty is mandatory."
She squinted a bit and wrinkled her nose (as liberals often do when they imagine they are about to say something clever) and said, "How can you balance support for the death penalty with your rabid opposition to abortion?" She smirked slightly, imagining she had presented me with a difficult question. "It is really very simple," I replied. "Kevin Ray Underwood is a loathsome, heinous beast who has condemned himself to an eternity in Hell by his actions. His execution would expedite his descent into Hell. Babies are innocent." As I expected, she was unable to propose a sensible argument and said, instead, "But it's a woman's right to have a pregnancy terminated, and everybody--no matter what they've done--deserves a second chance." "That is not an expressed position," I said. "It is merely the parroting of liberal propaganda. Such a statement necessarily belies actual cognitive effort on your part." The telephone rang, and while I was taking the call, she slithered from my office and disappeared from view.
Now, this is a serious police car! Click to enlarge.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Fish Story - monster catfish caught on video
Prayer Power - man's life saved by miracle
All Dressed Up - sweaters knitted to save penguins
POSER: (Congratulations to Cindy for solving!)
Q: What do you call a dognapper at a fire house?
A: Spot remover!
With the exception of a few brief rainstorms Sunday afternoon, Easter weekend was sunny, warm, and dry! Today is particularly beautiful. The sun is shining brightly, the sky is a brilliant blue, and the birds are singing!
Saturday evening, we ate pizza and watched Walk the Line. The movie was wonderful, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has not already seen it! We enjoyed it so much that we intend to watch it again very soon.
Following a glorious Easter service at Harvest Christian Center, Laura and I went shopping. It rained briefly and lightly while we were in the market, but the rain ceased when we exited the market. We snacked on pizza rolls, sipped Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and played several games of Trivial Pursuit. Laura was victorious.
We dined on pork loin chops, sautéed with white onion, whole garlic cloves, Jalapeños, sliced mushrooms, and halved white potatoes in creamy mushroom sauce. Following dinner, we watched The Cave. The movie was suspenseful and exciting.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Grrrr! - man accused of eating dog alive
Dead Man Walking - man survives on frogs, lizards, and leeches
Blown Away - windsurfer makes 140-mile detour
POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday.)
Q: What do you call a dognapper at a fire house?
The sun continues to shine! Despite forecasts of rain, it is sunny and warm (63 degrees in my office at 8 AM!) again today. I awakened to the sound of birds singing.
Elvis Presley Enterprises has licensed a company to create an Elvis-branded debit card. The Elvis Presley Prepaid Visa is being created by EDP Technologies Corp., based in Valley Village, CA. The company says the Elvis card will be among the first celebrity-branded debit cards. I am pondering this and have not yet decided whether this is truly bizarre or simply inane.
Here is a photograph I took of Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham with Fleetwood Mac, in concert on the football field at CSUC in 1974. Click to enlarge.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Dress Code - ATF agents bust university student in ninja garb
Mama! - couple charged in sextuplet hoax
That's Not My Space - students create fake site in teacher's name
What a difference a day makes! The sun is shining, the sky is blue, it is warm, and the birds are singing! What a beautiful day this is! More rain is predicted, but today's sunshine and warmth are welcomed with great joy!
Just when I thought it could get no weirder: I was comfortable with the notion (now, unfortunately, a misconception) that I had successfully rid myself of the delusional woman and would see no more of her. This morning, she darkened my doorway again! This time, however, she had a male companion in tow. Neither of them appeared to have slept recently, and--while the woman appeared clean and neatly dressed--the male companion appeared as someone who had not bathed or changed his attire in several days.
"I'm back!" she said, with unwarranted enthusiasm. "Might I suggest that you refrain from overstating the obvious?" I replied. "Whatever" was her witty response. "My wife said you won't fix our computer," the male companion said. "In a manner of speaking, I suppose one might take that position," I replied. "Whatever," he said. "Actually," I continued, "it was my suggestion that she return to the shop that performed the previous repairs." "She told you they messed it up!" he said, in an annoyingly loud voice. "Now you're gonna fix it!"
I pondered this situation briefly, deciding, finally, that these creatures were draining me unduly of valuable patience that could be used to greater advantage elsewhere, plucked Philomena from my pocket, added a few items to the shopping list, and said, "Ah, I see that I have an opening at 9 AM on the morning of Monday, December 11. I would be pleased to schedule an appointment for you at that time." "You've gotta be kidding!" the male companion roared. Suddenly, the telephone rang, and I snatched the receiver from its cradle. "Good morning, California Technologies," I said. It was a recorded political message. I listened to it, mumbling, "Yes. That would be fine. All right. I shall see you then. Thank you for calling."
I turned to the intruders and said, "I find that I must apologize. That time slot is now taken." "This is [expletive]!" screeched the male companion, pushing his wife toward the door. I watched them fade from my Web cam view.
Here is another image from Linda Ronstadt's concert at Hughes Stadium, Sacramento, CA, in 1974. Click to enlarge.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Girl Gone Wild - 15-year-old girl makes 1,000 fake 9-1-1 calls
Bang! - DEA agent who shot himself in the foot sues U.S.
Avast! - sailors took sham brides to boost pay
As I predicted, only a fraction of his audience followed Howard Stern to satellite. Can millions of listeners just disappear? That is the question plaguing Howard Stern, following the shock jock's heralded and hyped switch from free to satellite broadcasting.
The self-proclaimed King of All Media once commanded a national audience of 12 million daily listeners before moving to satellite in January. Since then, his kingdom has shrunk to a small fraction of that size. According to industry analysts, he took only between 1 million and 2 million listeners with him.
The rain continues, and today the rain is heavy! The creeks and streams are swelling, the Sacramento River is rising, and the birds are not singing!
Run for the hills! Click image to enlarge.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Hot Air - flatulent-chair lawsuit backfires
Move It! - 82-year-old woman cited for crossing street too slowly
Long-distance Charges May Apply - man gets $218 trillion phone bill
It began raining last night. I continues today. The rain is fairly light, but it is constant. We have been fortunate, however, compared to other areas of Northern California! Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared a state of emergency yesterday in seven northern and central California counties. Many reservoirs in California's Central Valley are groaning at full capacity, and at least 10 more days of rain are forecast for the region.
Schwarzenegger had already declared a state of emergency for California's levee system in February, a step that freed up about $103 million for repairs to 24 flood-prone sites. In the declaration, Schwarzenegger wrote that "extreme peril to the safety of persons and property" afflicted the counties of Amador, Calaveras, Fresno, Merced, San Joaquin, San Mateo and Stanislaus.
You may recall the tale of the confused woman who appeared at my office in error two weeks ago. It was a Monday morning, and as I opened my office door, she followed me in and began ranting that I had failed to keep an appointment I had made with her for Saturday. I explained to her that I was not open on Saturday and her appointment was obviously made elsewhere. This morning, she reappeared!
"Remember me?" she asked. "Yes," I replied, successfully creating the similitude of a smile. "Well, I'm back!" she said, with unwarranted enthusiasm. "I see that," I replied. "In what manner might I be of service to you?" "I'm still having problems with my computer. Whatever you did didn't fix it, so you can fix it again and this time do it right, and don't even think about charging me any more, cause you shoulda fixed it right the first time!"
With great effort, I managed to explain calmly that she was in the wrong office, reminding her of her previous visit. She appeared to grasp this concept fully and said, "Well they didn't fix my computer right. Can you fix it or not?" "I recommend that you return to where you had the previous repairs done," I said. "Well, I'm here now, so can't you just fix whatever they didn't do right and send them a bill or whatever? I already paid them." "I have made my recommendation," I replied. "Now, if you will excuse me, I must begin my day." "Well, thanks for nothing!" she said. "I won't forget this!" "Prior experience with you belies that notion," I said. She disappeared into the morning rain.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Down Fido! - killer dog refused to die
Vacancy - "Norman Bates'" property for sale on eBay
Queerly Beloved - San Francisco is world's gayest city
POSER: (Congratulations to Cindy for solving!)
Q: What do you call a serial gratuity leaver?
A: Jack the Tipper!
POSER: (Congratulations to Cap'n Jack for solving!)
Q: What do you call the process of lobster reproduction?
A: Crustacean gestation!
Friday evening, Laura and I were watching A&E Biography "Hairdos and Heartache: Women of Country Music" and saw Linda Ronstadt singing with Dolly Parton and Emmylou Harris, and she was wearing the SAME DRESS and NECKLACES she was wearing when I photographed her at Hughes Stadium, Sacramento, in 1974! (See March 30 and 31 posts for images of Linda wearing the dress and necklaces!)
Although rain was forecast for Saturday, it was sunny and warm all day. We snacked, sipped Sierra Nevada Summerfest, and played several games of Trivial Pursuit. I was victorious. We took advantage of the unexpectedly wonderful weather and tossed a huge London Broil on the grill. Laura put a spicy dry rub on the meat and grilled it over a high flame--charring the outside nicely while keeping the center rare. Prior to the grilling, I prepared a salad with diced cooked potatoes, sliced radishes, sliced black olives, diced white onion, fresh cilantro, fresh grated ginger, sliced Jalapeños, spicy seasonings, red pepper flakes, and honey mustard dressing. The meal was wonderful.
Saturday evening, we watched Left Behind: World at War (excellent) and Red Eye (wonderfully suspenseful).
Sunday after church service at Harvest Christian Center, the rain returned briefly. The balance of the day was dry and windy. Today is sunny and warm, despite forecasts calling for rain!
Friday, April 07, 2006
Mama! - Web site saves baby
Monkey Business - failure to prove evolution cancels professor's grant
Dress Code - 10-year-old girl demands right to wear miniskirt to school
POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday.)
Q: What do you call a serial gratuity leaver?
Last summer, a federal judge in Chicago ruled unconstitutional the old tradition of holding Boy Scout Jamborees at Fort A.P. Hill in Virginia every four years. Yesterday, oral arguments commenced in Chicago at the United States Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit. If the decision is upheld, the military will be barred from providing Jamboree campsites at Fort A.P. Hill to the Scouts.
The Boy Scout Jamboree has been held at Fort A.P. Hill since 1981, and the military has provided support and resources for every Boy Scout Jamboree since the first one in 1937. Some 40,000 Scouts and adult leaders attend the Jamboree, and no president has turned down an invitation to speak at the gatherings except for Bill Clinton.
This is simply an attempt by the the American Civil Liberties Union to rid the public square of boys in uniforms who swear to serve God and country! This is counter to the very moral ethic upon which our nation is built!
Yesterday's beautiful weather appears to have departed. It is overcast and breezy. The birds are not singing. It could, however, certainly be worse! Click to enlarge.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Hear No Evil - monkeys snatch cell phones from zoo visitors
Open Wide! - 9000-year-old dental drill found
Grin and Bear It - strip-club owner wins seat on school board
New Bubble Breaker High Score: 2052!
The sun is shining! When I awakened this morning, I heard birds singing. I leaped from bed, drew back the drapes, and saw sunshine! What a welcome sight this was! Unfortunately, the sky to the north is filled with storm clouds. Perhaps they are moving northward. Time will tell, but for now the sunshine is wonderful!
Laura just called with some exciting news: Rachael Ray's producer from Food TV Network called her to request a six-pack of Sierra Nevada product to be featured in the August/September issue of Rachael's magazine, "Every Day with Rachael Ray"! Laura processed the request and ordered a copy of the show for the Sierra Nevada archives. One of Laura's responsibilities as assistant to the owner of Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. is the maintenance of the archives.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Don't Try This at Home - paperweight explodes, severs teacher's hand
Homos on the Range - Wal-Mart hit by "Brokeback Mountain" protest
Dear John - man gets glued to toilet
The rain continues. It has been raining nearly non-stop since last Friday. The birds are not singing. Redding, 60 miles north of here, is holding its annual Cool April Nights this week. Cool April Nights is a huge car show that attracts several thousand entrants and provides a vast source of revenue for local merchants. If the weather does not improve very soon, it will have a disastrous effect on this event.
Who would have thought? Laura encountered this in her travels. Click to enlarge.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Raving Mad - man takes 40,000 ecstasy pills in 9 years
Open Wide - mouth grills become flashy fashion trend
Now You See It - smart glasses switch focus instantly
Horse advocates have tried for years to close three foreign-owned plants in the United States that slaughter horses and ship the meat to France, Belgium, Italy, and Japan, where it is served in restaurants as a delicacy.
Congress amended an agriculture spending bill last fall to ban using taxpayer funds to inspect horse meat. This would effectively stop horse slaughter in the United States, because federal law requires the inspection of all meat.
But the Department of Agriculture issued new rules last month allowing the plants to keep operating by paying the $350,000 annual cost of the inspections.
Concerning yesterday morning's visitor, I have no knowledge of whether she managed to locate the shop where she had made an appointment. I did see her at the Post Office this morning, however, and took this photograph of her car. Click to enlarge.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Red Alert - Mike Tyson pays respects to Mao
Monkey Business - professor says Darwin's theory on last legs
Dive In! - 500-pound salad made in swimming pool
POSER: (Congratulations to Cindy for solving!)
Q: When a farmer in the Army is jilted, what sort of mail does he receive?
A: A John Deere letter!
Spring is still in hiding! It rained, albeit lightly, most of the weekend and continues to rain today. The birds are not singing.
When I arrived at my office this morning and unlocked my door, a woman exited a car, followed me into my office, and entered into a tirade, saying that she had an appointment for 9 AM on Saturday. She said she arrived just before 9 AM and waited over an hour before giving up and returning home. She said she called and left messages that were not returned.
I said, "You did not have an appointment with me. My office is closed on Saturday." She looked at me and said nothing, so I added, "You have come to the wrong location, and you are two days late for your appointment! My hope is that the person with whom you had an appointment will show greater understanding and forgiveness than you have exhibited!"
Here is a photograph I took of Maria Muldaur in concert at the Senator Theatre, Chico, CA, in 1974. Click to enlarge.