Top 12 Reasons to Vote Democrat - I was chatting with a client this morning, and she made a statement that stunned me to such a degree that I immediately felt weakened, short of breath, dizzy, and unable to focus clearly. I stumbled to my chair, fell into it, took a large swallow of spring water, and said, "Certainly, mine ears failed me! I imagined you said that you voted Democrat." She assured me that is what she said. I fell into a delirium.
After a time, my breathing stabilized, my vision cleared, and I said, "Surely you have misread today's calendar and imagine it to be April 1st!" She assured me she was serious, and she listed her Top 12 Reasons for Voting Democrat:
1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody Is offended by it.
5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if It will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a GM Chevy Volt.
7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
8. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health-care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, than to drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my behind it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
