Thursday, November 30, 2006

Dip Suit, Take Him!, -and- Catch Me If You Can

Dip Suit - woman sues over amount of avocado in guacamole
Take Him! - online ad offers free five-year-old boy
Catch Me If You Can - police track reckless driver on YouTube

On this day in history: November 30, 1954 - At 1 pm, an 8.5 pound stone meteorite falls from the sky and strikes Elizabeth Hulitt Hodge from Sylacauga, Alabama. The housewife was seriously bruised but survived, although the meteorite destroyed her radio.

Born on this day in history: November 30, 1835 - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) novelist, journalist, river pilot. The "Great American humorist" was also known as "The People's Author" and creator of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.

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An acquaintance recently asked me whether I had seen "An Inconvenient Truth." I replied that I could not rationalize squandering 90 minutes of my time viewing a Sundance-quality science fiction film. The acquaintance replied (with a snort and a smirk), "It's not science fiction! It's science! It's the truth!" "The truth?" I replied. "To expect 'the truth' from someone who claims he created the Internet, was the inspiration for 'Love Story,' faced enemy fire in Vietnam, discovered the Love Canal, lives on a farm, had an uncle who was gassed in the Balkans during World War II, was the inspiration for Hubert Humphrey's 1968 Democratic convention speech, listened to his mother sing the 'union label' song to him as a child, and had the Presidency 'stolen' from him would require such a suspension of disbelief that accepting Tom Cruise's claim of being alien progeny would be a simple matter, by comparison!"

Quickly, before I was subjected to more raving, I continued, "Albert Einstein once said, 'Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.' Al Gore failed miserably as a Congressman, he failed miserably as a Vice-President, he failed miserably as a university professor, and he now aspires to be successful as a penguin and a scientist? Were it not for the fact that his lunacy is contagious and potentially dangerous, he could be dismissed as a stand-up comic!"

Al Gore's thirst for power would not have been slaked had he won the Presidency: Had he been elected, his insatiable power lust would have driven him to insist that Congress declare the United States a monarchy and name him King. This, of course, would become his final act of madness. Not even the most rabid liberal would move to impede his removal from office and confinement in a padded room, there to spend his remaining days, drooling uncontrollably and performing the Thorazine shuffle.

"It's obvious you haven't seen the movie, or you wouldn't talk such nonsense," was the only response the acquaintance could offer.

"I shall view this film and post a critique on my blog tomorrow. Be certain to read it!"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Anybody Home?, Fighting Back, -and- Drive My Car

Anybody Home? - YouTube video shows how to break into houses
Fighting Back - homeowner subdues burglar
Drive My Car - motorist tries to swallow keys, bites cop

On this day in history: November 29, 1944 - Malcolm X, then known as small-time criminal Malcolm Little, was arrested for larceny. He received a three-month suspended sentence and one-year probation.

Born on this day in history: November 29, 1898 - C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963) author, scholar. He wrote "The Screwtape Letters," 1942, and "The Chronicles of Narnia," 1954-62.

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More than eight million liters of this season's production of Beaujolais wine is being turned into near-pure alcohol for use in disinfectants, cleaning products, or fuel additives, as French vineyards face a massive overproduction crisis. A chronic wine glut, falling domestic consumption, and fierce overseas competition have converged to create an unprecedented crisis. With "lakes" of unsold wine threatening to undermine prices, the European Union has resorted to paying vintners to destroy some of their stock each year, distilling billions of bottles of perfectly drinkable wine into pure alcohol.

Good wine comes from happy grapes. Happy grapes come from California.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now?, No Cake, -and- No U-turn

Can You Hear Me Now? - women talk three times as much as men
No Cake - man faces jail for celebrating Satan's birthday
No U-turn - man drives into subway tunnel by mistake

On this day in history: November 28, 1981 - Natalie Wood topples off her yacht near Catalina Island and drowns. Her husband, Robert Wagner, and friend, Christopher Walken, were on board and unaware of her predicament.

Born on this day in history: November 28, 1928 - John Bunyan (1628 - 1688) clergyman, author. He was the author of the allegory "Pilgrim's Progress," 1678, which he wrote while in prison.

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Some of you may recall the story (approximately nine months ago) of a lady on whom I took pity and to whom I gave an old computer. She shared with me her descent into drug addiction, which culminated in her imprisonment. She was recently released from prison, working as a waitress in a local restaurant, and expressed the desire to access the Internet to do Bible study and to improve her computer skills in order to seek higher-paying employment. I determined that her computer (purchased from a loathsome deceiver at a yard sale, who assured her it worked fine) was incapable of affording her the Internet access she desired. The Holy Spirit told me to take pity on her, and I did—giving her a functioning computer that had been collecting dust in the storage area of my office. I wondered what had become of her. I had not seen or heard from her since encountering her once at the market a few weeks after I gave her the computer—at which time she said the computer was working well and said that God would surely bless me for the kindness I had shown her.

I received a telephone call from her this morning. She moved to Sacramento several months ago and soon thereafter was given a job at a title company. She has been on the worship team at a small church since July and recently became a Bible teacher, instructing young children in the Word. She said that it was my help and belief in her that enabled her to reach her goals. I answered that it was God who had done this, and I had merely acted as His servant. She said, "I know. God bless you."

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dazed and Confused, Toothsome, -and- Spiritless

Dazed and Confused - "All My Children" introducing transgender character
Toothsome - lifeguard bites 8-year-old girl, gets probation
Spiritless - thieves steal Christmas trees from church lot

On this day in history: November 27, 1969 - Court-appointed attorney Ronald Hughes, handling the Charles Manson case, disappears on a camping trip to Sespe Hot Springs in Southern California, accompanied by two Manson followers. His decomposed body is identified by dental x-rays five months later.

Born on this day in history: November 27, 1940 - Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973) martial arts expert, actor. His movies include "Enter the Dragon," and "Fists of Fury."

Today's Video: Submitted by Frank. 10-second Shelby Mustang

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We had a wonderfully restful Thanksgiving vacation. It was so foggy and cold this morning that I considered extending the vacation period another day. Here I am, however. The fog has cleared, but it is undoubtedly the coldest day in centuries. Fortunately, there is no wind.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dirty Pictures, Arf!, -and- Uncle!

Dirty Pictures - China sentences Web porn king to life in prison
Arf! - 200 dogs confiscated from South Dakota home
Uncle! - Wal-Mart relents, boycott called off

On this day in history: November 22, 1963 - President John F. Kennedy assassinated.

Born on this day in history: November 22, 1921 - Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - ____) comedian, actor. He "never gets no respect" in his films such as "Chaddyshack," "Back to School," and "Meet Wally Sparks."

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Happy Thanksgiving! Laura and I wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. We hope that tomorrow is filled with family, friends, love, and joy for you. We shall be attending a special Thanksgiving service this evening at Harvest Christian Center. Tomorrow, my mother is coming to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. We shall watch "Cars" after the meal. The weather this morning is beautiful! It is sunny and warm, and there is no wind. Hopefully, this weather will extend through Thanksgiving—in which case we may roast our turkey on the grill!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Attention Shoppers, Can You See Me Now?, -and- Slipping Out

Attention Shoppers - Wal-Mart blacklisted for Black Friday
Can You See Me Now? - man arrested after cell phone shows him molesting girl
Slipping Out - inmate uses petroleum jelly to escape

On this day in history: November 21, 1980 - Don Henley, drummer for the Eagles, arrested for drug possession and contributing to the delinquency of a minor when a naked 16-year-old girl is found in his home suffering from drug overdose.

Born on this day in history: November 21, 1945 - Goldie Hawn (1945 - ____) actress, comedienne, producer. She won an Oscar for "Cactus Flower," 1969; other films include "Protocol," 1984 and "The First Wives Club," 1996.

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Despite intense opposition from many fishermen, California wildlife regulators are creating the nation's most extensive network of "marine protected areas"—stretches of ocean where fishing will be banned or severely restricted. The first chain of refuges, covering some 200 square miles and stretching from Santa Barbara to Half Moon Bay, just south of San Francisco, is due to take effect early next year. The state plans similar protected zones along the more intensely fished coasts of northern and southern California. Conservationists say such networks are a new approach to saving the oceans from overfishing. They believe California's plan could serve as a model for other states and countries.

Monday, November 20, 2006

No Juice, Bad Image, -and- Scram!

No Juice - some affiliates will not air Simpson show
Bad Image - meteorologist fired over nude MySpace photo
Scram! - school dance turns away homeschooled teen

On this day in history: November 20, 1912 - Mad Bomber Carl Warr enters Los Angeles city jail with 60 sticks of dynamite strapped to himself. After an hour, two detectives attack Warr who then pulls the bomb's trigger. Nothing happens, and the freakishly masked bomber begs police to kill him.

Born on this day in history: November 20, 1925 - Robert F. Kennedy (1925 - 1968) politician, lawyer. He was an aggressive fighter for civil rights and served as U.S. Attorney General, 1961-64.

Be certain to watch this hilarious video! Submitted by Chris. DUI

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We watched "Something to Sing About." [Tommy (Darius McCrary) worries that he'll never get a break. An ex-con with the voice of an angel, Tommy finds his luck changing when Memaw (Irma P. Hall), a kindly grandmother who hears him singing one day, takes him in. Soon, he's found God, lands a job and has a chance for his big singing break. He's also caught the eye of Memaw's beautiful granddaughter. But Tommy's old friend doesn't believe he's changed, and he must fight for his new life.] This is a good story with good acting and a good soundtrack. It is an encouraging, uplifting movie. I recommend it.

We watched "Hometown Legend." [Divine intervention on the gridiron propels a high school football squad to prominence in this uplifting, inspirational drama. In a town with little hope, the Crusaders, a team of perennial losers, show that a bit of faith can help win battles on the football field and beyond, giving the town -- and the team's newest player, a teenage drifter -- something to believe in. Produced by best-selling Christian author Jerry Jenkins.] The story is almost a cliché, but it is thoroughly redeemed by a well-written and believable screenplay, a surprise ending, and excellent acting. I recommend it.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Armed Citizen, The Armed Citizens, -and- The Truth About Cats and Dogs

The Armed Citizen - state senator foils robbery by teens
The Armed Citizens - Idaho town asks residents to own guns
The Truth About Dogs and Cats - dog and cat allegedly mate, reproduce

On this day in history: November 17, 1992 - Scaremongering journalists at Dateline NBC falsify a demonstration involving a GM truck exploding on impact. In reality the trucks do not explode on impact.

Born on this day in history: November 17, 1902 - Eugene Wigner (1902 - 1995) physicist. He was the joint winner, with Jensen and Mayer, of the Nobel Prize, 1963, for extensive work on quantum mechanics.

Today's Video: Self Defense

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Tomorrow is the 11th annual Corning Hometown Christmas. The downtown area will offer food and craft booths, entertainment, and a lighted parade. It may seem odd to have a Christmas event precede Thanksgiving (it seems odd to me), but there you have it!

While on my way to the office this morning, I encountered this albino buck and could not resist stopping to photograph it and share it here. Click to enlarge.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Call Video Professor!, The Right to Remain Silent, -and- Hog Wild

Call Video Professor! - Larry King admits he has never used the Internet
The Right to Remain Silent - would-be rapist killed by car while fleeing
Hog Wild - millions of feral pigs invade Texas

On this day in history: November 16, 1906 - Opera star Enrico Caruso is charged with an indecent act committed in the monkey house of New York's Central Park Zoo. He pinched the bottom of a woman described as "pretty and plump," causing outrage amongst New York high society. Caruso claimed a monkey pinched the lady's bottom.

Born on this day in history: November 16, 1873 - W. C. Handy (1873 - 1958) composer, singer. "The Father of the Blues" integrated the blues idiom into the then-fashionable ragtime; composed the classic "St. Louis Blues."

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Crab Season Opens: About 150 crab boats set out midday Tuesday from San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, and Bodega Bay minutes after owners agreed on a price with processors. The boats are expected to return loaded with thousands of pounds of crabs for fish markets as the annual Dungeness crab season gets under way. Fishermen will get $1.85 a pound for their catch under the agreement. Consumers are expected to pay an average of about $5 a pound. A state Department of Fish and Game marine biologist predicts a good year, but because California has no trap limits, all the legal-size crabs could be taken quickly and the season shortened.

While on my way to the office this morning, I encountered this freshly painted white line and could not resist stopping to photograph it and share it here. Click to enlarge.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

In His Image, "If I Did It," -and- Alien Chicken

In His Image - Jesus dolls rejected by Toys for Tots
"If I Did It" - O.J. Simpson interviewed on Fox News
Alien Chicken - KFC targets ETs with huge logo

On this day in history: November 15, 1990 - Producers acknowledge that Milli Vanilli (the 1990 "Best Artist" Grammy Award winners) did not sing on their album.

Born on this day in history: November 15, 1887 - Georgia O'Keeffe (1887 - 1986) painter. She was one of the founders of Modernism and best known for "Black Iris," 1926 and "Cow's Skull," 1931.

Today's Video: Submitted by Katherine. Referee Training

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For some reason (perhaps the late-night snack of Peanut M&Ms is a contributing factor), my dreams are generally odd. Last night was no exception: I lived in a gated community. I backed my red Dodge Viper out of my garage, closed the garage door with the remote control, and backed into the street in front of my home. As I prepared to depart, a young blond woman appeared and said, "Good morning. My name is Alicia. I just bought the house next door. The moving company is arriving this morning with my furniture and my car, but I must get to work. Could I trouble you to drop me at work? It is near your office." I agreed—not questioning how she knew where my office was (this was, after all, a dream)—and told her to hop aboard. She directed me to her real estate office, thanked me, got out of my Viper, and entered her office. I drove to my office. It was a short distance from her office. From the window of my office, I could see the Viper and her office. At the end of the business day, I saw Alicia walking across the parking lot toward my office. I suddenly realized that the Viper was gone. Alicia entered my office and said, "I thought you might have gone already. I didn't see your car outside." "Apparently," I replied, "someone has stolen it." Alicia looked very sad, tears fell from her eyes, and she said, "I'm so sorry. It was a beautiful car." "Do not concern yourself," I said. "This is only a dream. I really do not own a Viper, so no one could have really stolen it from me." Alicia appeared not to understand and said, "Do you mean you don't think any of this is real?" "I will show you," I said—at which point I awakened.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Queerly Beloved, Something Wicked This Way Comes, -and- Rock On

Queerly Beloved - South African Parliament okays same-sex marriage
Something Wicked This Way Comes - widows sue over Wicca symbols
Rock On - amazing T-shirt plays air guitar

On this day in history: November 14, 1993 - Michael Jackson checks into a drug rehabilitation program in order to treat his addiction to painkillers, taken in response to media allegations that he is a homosexual pedophile. According to his publicist, Jackson was "barely able to function adequately on an intellectual level."

Born on this day in history: November 14, 1900 - Aaron Copland (1900 - 1990) composer. He was one of America's best-known composers whose works include "Billy the Kid," 1938 and the Pulitzer-winning "Appalachian Spring," 1944.

Today's Video: Submitted by Laura. Family Walks on All Fours

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We had intended to grill last Sunday, but the weather did not permit it. The rain ceased yesterday afternoon, and we planned to grill last evening. It was simply too windy and cold when Laura returned from a meeting at Harvest Christian Center at 7:15 PM. The top sirloin steaks were marinated in teriyaki sauce, extra-virgin olive oil, grated ginger, minced garlic, Cajun seasoning, ground black pepper, and crushed red peppers. The giant shrimp were marinated in extra-virgin olive oil, rice wine vinegar, grated ginger, minced garlic, seasonings, lime juice, and crushed red peppers. I pan-seared the steaks. They were wonderful—charred on the outside and rare in the center. I sautéed the shrimp. They were delicious. The marinade reduced to a delightful nectar that was so tasty we drizzled it on our baked potatoes.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Highway to Hell, Have It Your Way, -and- Dynamic Duo

Highway to Hell - Elton John wants religion banned completely
Have It Your Way - Burger King manager shoots unruly teen dead
Dynamic Duo - cops dress like Batman and Robin to catch drug suspects

On this day in history: November 13, 1805 - Johann Georg Lehner invents the hot dog.

Born on this day in history: November 13, 1850 - Robert Louis Stevenson (1850 - 1894) author, poet, essayist, critic. He is best known for "Treasure Island," "A Child's Garden of Verses," and "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."

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We watched "God's Army." [Brandon Allen (Matthew Brown), a Mormon missionary in Los Angeles, has to confront the harsh challenges of his life in this inspirational drama. With the help of his unrelenting mentor Marcus (Richard Dutcher, who also directed), Brandon looks inward and realizes that his first convert just might have to be himself.] Laura placed this movie in our Netflix queue based on her assumption that the synopsis indicated that the main character was delivered from the Mormon cult. Unfortunately, he was delivered into that sect! The movie is unabashed Mormon propaganda—replete with non-Christian devices and references, the most unsettling of which is the healing of a cripple by invocation of the powers of a Mormon elder. Another abhorrent scene shows the "conversion" of a devout Catholic! Interestingly, one of the group reads a book entitled, "The Truth About Mormons" and poses several questions to the group's leader, who chastises him for reading the book and asking questions. Ultimately, this man rejects the cult and is shown in the bus depot, awaiting a bus to take him home. The group, in general, and the leader, in particular, dismiss him as "lost," while in actuality, he is the only one of the group for whom there is hope! I strongly discourage viewing this movie.

We watched "Bells of Innocence." [Jux Jonas (Mike Norris) is stuck deep in the heart of Texas with his friends Oren (Carey Scott) and Conrad (David White) after an emergency plane landing. Soon, they realize they're far from safety, stranded in a strange community where the locals seem under the spell of a voice from a short-wave radio owned by a local rancher (Marshall Teague). Will they ever escape? Also co-stars Norris's famous father, Chuck, in a supporting role.] This movie was very entertaining, uplifting, and dramatic. Chuck Norris is very believable as an angel of God, and his real-life son, Mike, turns in an excellent performance as a believer tormented by demons and tempted by Lucifer. It is a classic "good versus evil" story. We thoroughly enjoyed it. Our only disappointment was that there was none of the martial arts for which Norris is famous. I highly recommend this movie.

Friday, November 10, 2006

What's Up Doc?, Speak Up!, -and- Fetch!

What's Up Doc? - physicians using Google to diagnose illnesses
Speak Up! - woman regains voice after nearly three years
Fetch! - Japanese unveil robot wine steward

On this day in history: November 10, 1940 - Walt Disney begins serving as a secret informer for the Los Angeles office of the FBI, to report back information on Hollywood subversives. He was made a "Full Special Agent in Charge Contact" in 1954.

Born on this day in history: November 10, 1925 - Richard Burton (1925 - 1984) actor. He was a well-known British stage and motion-picture actor; won Tony, 1961, for "Camelot."

Today's Video: Ultimate Japanese Dance Video

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This kitty is angry, and he is not going to take it anymore!

It is beginning to look a lot more like Christmas at Wal-Mart. This holiday season, Wal-Mart is bringing "Christmas" back into its marketing, after several years of playing down the term. Wal-Mart Stores Inc.'s Christmas cheer seems to be a hot trend this season as several other retailers, including Kohl’s Corp. and Macy’s are also stepping up their Christmas marketing. The moves respond to mounting criticism from religious groups that staged boycotts against Wal-Mart and other merchants after they eliminated or de-emphasized "Christmas" in their advertising.

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY! Here is a recent photograph of Chuck Norris in Iraq with our troops! This photograph was sent to Laura by the father of one of the soldiers in the photograph! Click to enlarge.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

No Show, Ouch!, -and- Slimed

No Show - "Borat" barred from Russian movie theaters
Ouch! - rocket stunt backfires as soldier aims too low
Slimed - ravenous giant snails invade Barbados

On this day in history: November 9, 1997 - Michael Paul Lookinland, aka "Bobby" from "The Brady Bunch," charged with drunk driving in St. George, Utah. With a BAL of 0.258, the 36-year-old former child star was very drunk.

Born on this day in history: November 9, 1934 - Carl Sagan (1934 - 1996) astronomer. He provided insight in the origin of life by producing amino acids in a mixture of chemicals irradiated by ultraviolet light; wrote "Contact."

Today's Video: Referee Accidents

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He is sorry!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Eyes of a Ranger, Have It Your Way, -and- Paint the Town

The Eyes of a Ranger - Chuck Norris to appear on Hannity and Colmes tomorrow
Have It Your Way - Burger King sued for pot in cop's burgers
Paint the Town - $5 junk-shop purchase could net woman fortune

On this day in history: November 8, 1991 - Convicted crack smoker Marion Barry, who served six months in prison in 1990, is re-elected mayor of Washington D.C.

Born on this day in history: November 8, 1900 - Margaret Mitchell (1900 - 1949) novelist. She won Pulitzer for her only book "Gone with the Wind," 1936.

Today's Video: Pre-school Political Ad

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If you receive an email announcing the cost-of-living increases scheduled for 2007 Social Security benefits—purported to be from the Social Security Administration—do not answer it, and do not click on any links in the email. It is a scam. The Social Security Administration on Tuesday warned of a new email scam in which recipients are asked to update their personal information or risk having their Social Security "account" suspended indefinitely by November 11. Recipients are then directed to click on a link in the email that takes them to a Web site designed to look like the Social Security Administration's Web site. The scam is a classic example of "phishing," whereby thieves send emails to consumers in which they claim to be from a bank or government agency. They then try to get the consumer to unwittingly give up valuable information, such as a Social Security or bank account number.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

What Is It?, Puppy Hate, -and- Scientists Gone Wild

What Is It? - NYC to make gender personal choice
Puppy Hate - man sentenced to 6 months for baking puppy in oven
Scientists Gone Wild - researchers to create human-cow embryo

On this day in history: November 7, 1872 - The cargo ship Mary Celeste sails from New York, never reaching Genoa. Four weeks later it is found completely abandoned, whereabouts of the ten man crew unknown.

Born on this day in history: November 7, 1918 - Billy Graham (1918 - ____) evangelist. He is known world-wide for his "Billy Graham Crusades,: wrote "The Seven Deadly Sins," 1955.

Be certain to watch this amazing video! Submitted by Laura. Freestyle Biking

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I believe that Senator John Kerry's Halloween eve statement calling our military personnel ignorant, uneducated failures is further evidence of the Democrat Party's contemptuous loathing of our military men and women. I believe Kerry's statements are symptomatic of a deviant pathology that is emblematic of elitists. If Kerry were a man, he would admit what he said was exactly what he meant. And if elitist liberals were honest they would admit that they are in complete agreement with him. At that point, the cycle of their contempt for our military could be addressed reasonably. This will never happen, because they are the elite—which means that all but their ilk are uninformed and beneath them.

Click to enlarge.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Dress Code, Give and Take, -and- Hard to Get Good Help

Dress Code - man ordered to wear "sex offender" T-shirt
Give and Take - burglar steals TV, replaces with broken one
Hard to Get Good Help - woman jailed for keeping slave

On this day in history: November 6, 2002 - Actress Winona Ryder found guilty of shoplifting, after she lifted $5500 from Saks Fifth Avenue.

Born on this day in history: November 6, 1945 - Sally Field (1946 - ____) actress. She won Oscars for "Norma Rae," 1979 and "Places in the Heart," 1985.

Be certain to watch this amazing video! Submitted by Phillip. Don't Give Him the Keys!

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Do not forget to vote tomorrow!—unless, of course, you have already voted by Absentee Ballot. Laura and I always vote absentee. If you do not do so already, consider voting absentee in future elections! With an Absentee Ballot, you can take all the time you need to sort through all the ballot issues and research the candidates. There is no waiting in lines, no fighting to get off work on time, and no risky voting machines—just a simple paper ballot.

I have no intention of suggesting how you vote, but I do suggest that you research the candidates and issues well, so that your vote is made reasonably and not emotionally. If you are unsure how to vote for a particular issue or candidate, do not vote for that item! The balance of your ballot will still be counted.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Pumpkin 'Puter, Gone Fishin', -and- Fill 'er Up

Pumpkin 'Puter - a new life for an old Macintosh
Gone Fishin' - scientists say seafood will disappear by 2048
Fill 'er Up - drunk man mistakes nuclear plant for gas station

On this day in history: November 3, 1913 - Income tax law signed.

Born on this day in history: November 3, 1953 - Dennis Miller (1953 - ____) comedian, talk show host. He was a comic anchorman for "Saturday Night Live" weekend update segments, 1985-81; star of "Dennis Miller Live," since 1996.

Be certain to watch this hilarious video! Submitted by Laura. Kissing a Fool

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Tuesday morning, a young woman entered my office and walked up to my desk. I was on the telephone, speaking with a vendor. The woman was holding a piece of paper and appeared highly impatient. I held up an index finger, an indication to her that I would be with her in a moment. I then motioned to her to take a seat. She remained standing near my desk, shifted position a few times, and placed the paper atop the scanner on my desk. I saw that it was a résumé. I placed my hand over the telephone mouthpiece, picked up the résumé, held it out to her, and said, "We have no openings." I continued with my telephone conversation.

The woman made no attempt to take the résumé from me and maintained her station near my desk. I completed my telephone conversation, placed the résumé down on the scanner, and said, "We have no openings." She appeared very agitated and said, "Somebody already got the job?" "What job would that be?" I asked. "The job the agency sent me here for." Yet again, I said, "We have no openings." She frowned. I said, "We have no employees. I am the only person here. Obviously, you have come here in error. What is the name of the business to which the employment agency sent you?" She fumbled in her purse, removed an index card, and handed it to me. The card bore the name of an employment agency in Red Bluff (18 miles north of here), my company's name, address, and telephone number, and my name. It listed the "position available" as "office manager." "There has been a mistake, obviously on the part of the employment agency," I said. "Return to them and explain to them that they sent you here in error." She frowned, snatched up the index card and résumé, said something I shall not repeat here, and departed.

About an hour later, the telephone rang. The Caller ID indicated the caller was the employment agency that had sent the woman here. "Good morning," I said. The caller asked to speak to me. "That is to whom you are speaking," I said. "Why did you tell [woman's name] there was no job opening?" "Because there is no job opening," I said. "Did you fill the opening then and not advise us?" the caller inquired. "There is no job opening, there was no job opening, there never has been a job opening, and most likely there never will be a job opening," I replied. "You haven't heard the last of this," the caller said, slamming her telephone receiver into its cradle.

A few minutes later, the telephone rang. The Caller ID indicated it was the employment agency once again. I assumed the error had been found and the call would be an apology. "Good morning," I said. "This is [caller's name] from [agency name], calling for David Harter." "This is David," I answered. "Well, I'm the manager here," the caller said. "So let's see if we can't resolve this communication problem and get things back on track here." "I have grown unduly wearied of the travail and shall have no more of it," I said. "I shall leave you, then, to your own devices. Have a nice day."

I have received no further communication but shall report here in full if I do.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Going Postal, Urban Legend, -and- Bad Sport

Going Postal - mailman attacked by squirrel
Urban Legend - Loch Ness Monster theory disproved by scientists
Bad Sport - agent charged with smuggling Cuban baseball players

On this day in history: November 2, 1988 - The Internet Worm is released by Cornell grad student Robert Morris. His ingenious program was meant to explore the Internet harmlessly, but due to a bug, it crashed some 6,000 computers.

Born on this day in history: November 2, 1755 - Marie Antoinette (1755 - 1795) ruler. She was the Queen Consort of Louis XVI of France remembered as being frivolous, imprudent, prodigal and an enemy of reform.

Be certain to watch this hilarious video! Submitted by Laura. The Wrong Cooler

NEW FEATURE: The videos are now available via the link "Amazing and Amusing Videos" in the Links section, below the visitor counter.

As a national uproar continues over comments by Senator John Kerry suggesting American troops were lazy and not bright, President Bush is hammering Kerry and fellow Democrats for their lack of strategy for winning the war in Iraq, while troops themselves are mocking Kerry. Click to enlarge.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Cluck Cluck, Smells Good!, -and- Satan Worship

Cluck Cluck - woman sells her eggs on Internet to pay credit card debt
Smells Good! - pizza aroma leads to 2 robbery suspects
Satan Worship - Salem's witches fight for civil rights

On this day in history: November 1, 1990 - New York City civil jury awards Sandra Miller $100 for battery after an incident in which boxer Mike Tyson grabbed her, insulted her, and propositioned her.

Born on this day in history: November 1, 1935 - Gary Player (1935 - ____) golfer. He was the third golfer (after Sarazen and Hogan) to win the modern golf Grand Slam.

Be certain to watch this hilarious video! Submitted by Laura. Bird for Dinner

NEW FEATURE: The videos are now available via the link "Amazing and Amusing Videos" in the Links section, below the visitor counter.

The Harvest Festival at Harvest Christian Center last night was a great success! The weather was perfect, the attendance was huge, and the food, candy, games, music, and entertainment were excellent. The City of Corning closed the street adjacent to the church for the event. This is a glorious celebration presented by Harvest Christian Center each year as a free, safe alternative to Halloween. Last night was the 12th year Harvest Christian Center has hosted this event.