Scam Call, Gun Appreciation Day, and Using Android Tablet to Paint with GIMP

Scam Call - My office telephone rang. I looked at the Caller ID, and it reported, “Private Name” and no telephone number. Generally, I do not answer these calls. It was slow at my office, and I was in a playful mood, so I answered, "Hello."

CALLER: Is David there, please?
ME: Yes.
CALLER: May I talk to him, please?
ME: Yes.
(Following a silence of approximately 45 seconds:)
CALLER: Is this David?
ME: No.
CALLER: Is David there?
ME: Yes.
CALLER: May I talk to him?
ME: Yes.
(Following a silence of approximately 45 seconds:)
CALLER: Is this David?
ME: Yes. Who is this?
CALLER: This is Cynthia from HRI Net. (I Googled “HRI Net” and quickly determined there was only a health-services company by that name.)
ME: Hello, Cindy.
ME: Good. Now, Cindy, how are you today?
CALLER: I’m fine, thanks.
ME: You do not mind if I call you, “Cindy,” do you, Cindy?
CALLER: No. That’s fine.
ME: That is wonderful. I am glad to hear that. How is the weather there?
CALLER: It’s fine.
ME: Great. Now, Cindy, I know you are very busy, so I will make this brief.
CALLER: Uh. Uh. I called you.
ME: Well, it really matters little who called whom, do not you agree?
CALLER: I called you.
ME: Well, of course you did. As I said, that is of no importance. I know you are busy, so I will make this brief.
CALLER: I called you.
ME: If you prefer, by all means do so. (I cradled the receiver.)
The phone rang. The same Caller ID displayed.
ME: Howdy, Cindy. Now, what I can I do for you today?
CALLER: Your computer’s got a virus and it’s just going to get worse. I can fix it for you quick from here. Just do what I say so I can access your system files and fix the problem.
ME: Cindy, it is truly disheartening that your computer is infected, but that would be an issue you would want to hand over to your IT people. Now, if you are ready, I have the figures you requested.
CALLER: Not me. You’ve got virus infecting your computer and I can fix it for you.
ME: I have given it some thought, and I think I like “Cynthia” better. I will call you, “Cynthia” if you do not mind.
CALLER: What?
ME: If you do not like your full name, I can call you, “Cindy.” It makes no difference to me.
CALLER: What?
ME: I am glad you agree. Now, how may I be of service, Cynthia?
CALLER: Your computer’s got a virus and it’s real bad but I can fix it if you just type in what I tell you to.
ME: Cynthia, how do you know your computer has a virus? Did you scan your system? Are you using anti-virus software? What anti-virus software are you using?
CALLER: YOU have the virus. I don’t have it. YOU do!
ME: Well, I think I told you, Cynthia, that is for the IT guys to fix. Do not try to fix it on your own. You might make it worse. Just call your IT guys.
CALLER: You don’t get it. Your computer’s messed up and I can fix it for you if you just type in what I tell you to.
ME: Cynthia, all this computer talk is boring me. I say we move on to something more interesting. Do you like guns, Cynthia?
CALLER: What?
ME: Do you like guns? We’re having a wild pig hunt this weekend, and you are invited. What guns do you have?
CALLER: What are you talking about?
ME: The hide on those critters is tough. I will be using a Desert Eagle .50 AE semi-automatic pistol and an HK-91 .308 cal rifle. What guns do you have, Cynthia?
CALLER: Guns? I hate guns. They should all be banned.
ME: Well, Cynthia, I think we should go our separate ways now. A wild pig hunt is NOT for you, Cynthia. Have a nice day.
(PLONK)



I am getting ready for Gun Appreciation Day!