Beam Me Up!, Unattractive, -and- Off with His Head!

Beam Me Up! - mysterious horse deaths raise UFO theories
Unattractive - scientists say magnet therapy is bogus
Off with His Head! - suicide machine fails

I received an email this morning from the mystery Internet user. The mystery is now solved! The mystery user is a young lady. Her parents are divorced, and she lives with her father. She has a computer and SBC Internet account at home. She uses that account to access the Internet whenever she stays at her mother's home. Her mother knows nothing of her Internet use, and she implored me not to tell her mother of it. She said that her mother is fearful of the Internet and specifically cautioned her against using it. In my reply, I assured her that I would not tell her mother but felt that she should give her mother a full accounting of this. I suggested that her mother's paranoia might best be allayed by showing her how the Internet could be used to assist the completion of homework assignments.

While not as eerie as it originally seemed, the mystery is solved!

I received a telephone solicitation from the Gay and Lesbian Council at California State University Chico this morning. I interrupted the programmed spiel to say, "Unless I am satisfied that the funds will be used solely for the construction of a large closet to be used for the confinement of your membership, I will not contribute!" PLONK!