Wolf Attacks, American Innovation, and Shooting the Biggest Guns Money Can Buy

Study: Wolf Attacks Still Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. - BETHESDA, MD—According to a new study released Monday by the National Institutes of Health, for the 25th straight year, violent wolf attacks remain the leading cause of death in the United States.

The human health agency's latest findings revealed that being viciously killed by a ravenous wolf resulted in more fatalities than any other malady, claiming the lives of more than 800,000 Americans in the last year alone. The NIH's annual mortality report also confirmed that one person in the United States dies every 40 seconds from a wolf attack.

"Despite efforts to combat this terrible affliction, research indicates Americans are far more likely to be ruthlessly slaughtered by one or more man-eating wolves than ever before," said the study's author, William Rhodes, adding that an estimated 1 in 3 Americans will suffer a wolf attack at some point in their lives. "Our knowledge about the savage encounters has improved, but we aren't any closer to reducing the unfortunate number of people who every day are stopped in their tracks by a deadly wolf."

Nation Starting To Realize New Era Of American Innovation Never Gonna Happen - WASHINGTON—After nearly a decade of promises that the nation was on the brink of a technological, economic, and scientific golden age, citizens across the country confirmed Monday they are now realizing a bold new era of American innovation is just flat-out not gonna happen.

Citing the fragile economy and an exceedingly volatile political landscape, many Americans told reporters they are now fairly certain that the chances of the United States spearheading global advancements within the likes of biotechnology, health care, or manufacturing are pretty much zilch.

Shooting the Biggest Guns Money Can Buy - The Big Sandy Shoot