Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Coyote Principle, Last Evening's Dinner, and Adorable Animals

The Coyote Principle -

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.


The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his personal pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .380 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

Last Evening's Dinner - Laura remains in Tucson. She will return this afternoon. Zeus, Thor, and I eagerly await her return. While the kitties feasted upon Kit & Kaboodle, I sautéed sliced boneless, skinless chicken breasts, sliced mushrooms, sliced baby sweet peppers, green onions, minced garlic, Pappy’s seasoning, ground black pepper, ground basil, granulated garlic, red pepper flakes, and smoked paprika in extra-virgin olive oil. The three of us dined while watching "Big Cat Diary" on Animal Planet.