Bzzzz!, Lost!, -and- Slap!

Bzzzz! - 200,000 bees found inside walls of new home
Lost! - couple arrested for asking for directions
Slap! - Senate raises fines for indecency on television

The two top stories in America this week are simply astounding: Illegal aliens continue to invade the United States seemingly at will, and alligators are on the prowl in Florida, threatening anything that moves. Both these problems have received considerable media coverage, and much of America in a panic. So what is the nation to do? Put alligators on the border!

Simply transplant a large sample of Florida's reptile populace along a path from Texas to California and see how fast the illegal invaders "vamanos" when faced with the killer smiles of the four-legged American welcoming committee.

Florida residents will breathe a sigh of relief.

Animal-rights activists will be thankful that many of the alligators will not be rounded up for slaughter.

The alligators could reside in the Rio Grande, which already serves as a natural moat along much of the border. It could be extended with a little digging project, a task much easier than construction of a giant wall.