Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Busted!, Mommy Dearest, -and- Outsourcing the Picket Line

Busted! - Lindsay Lohan arrested for DUI, cocaine
Mommy Dearest - mom accused of hitting kids on flight
Outsourcing the Picket Line - union hires homeless for protest

On this day in history: July 24, 1999 - Former Guns N' Roses guitarist "Slash" is arrested in West Hollywood for allegedly beating his girlfriend at the Le Parc Hotel five days prior.

Born on this day in history: July 24, 1898 - Amelia Earhart (1898 - 1937) aviatrix She was the first woman to solo across the Atlantic and from Hawaii to California; mysteriously disappeared, 1937.

Today's Video: Ghost Ridin' Grandma

[While I slept] I was seated in the outdoor-dining area of a restaurant in Cabo San Lucas, conversing with a group of people who were sharing my table. I had just met them, and we were sharing our backgrounds. I felt something brush against my leg and looked down to see a small gnome-like boy crouching beneath the table. I remarked upon this, and a young woman seated to my right said, "Oh, that's just Bahia—Bahia the Crumbsnatcher. He spends his days scuttling about beneath the tables here in search of fallen morsels. Ignore him, and whatever you do, do not feed him."

I thought her warning odd, took pity on young Bahia, and secretly handed him a warm tortilla. He took it and devoured it greedily. I reached down to hand him another tortilla and felt great pain in my hand. I quickly brought my hand up from beneath the table and held it high, displaying to all a large Gila monster dangling therefrom, its sharp teeth tearing into the flesh of my hand. I screamed in pain and flailed my hand about.

The young woman sitting next to me grabbed my flailing hand and pierced the Gila monster's neck with a bamboo skewer. The Gila monster released its grip upon my hand. The young woman held the Gila monster for a moment, suspended by the skewer, then shook him loose from the skewer. It fell to the floor and scurried away.

"I cautioned you against feeding Bahia," she said, as she poured tequila on my wound and bound it with a linen napkin.