Pumpkin 'Puter, Gone Fishin', -and- Fill 'er Up

Pumpkin 'Puter - a new life for an old Macintosh
Gone Fishin' - scientists say seafood will disappear by 2048
Fill 'er Up - drunk man mistakes nuclear plant for gas station

On this day in history: November 3, 1913 - Income tax law signed.

Born on this day in history: November 3, 1953 - Dennis Miller (1953 - ____) comedian, talk show host. He was a comic anchorman for "Saturday Night Live" weekend update segments, 1985-81; star of "Dennis Miller Live," since 1996.

Be certain to watch this hilarious video! Submitted by Laura. Kissing a Fool

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Tuesday morning, a young woman entered my office and walked up to my desk. I was on the telephone, speaking with a vendor. The woman was holding a piece of paper and appeared highly impatient. I held up an index finger, an indication to her that I would be with her in a moment. I then motioned to her to take a seat. She remained standing near my desk, shifted position a few times, and placed the paper atop the scanner on my desk. I saw that it was a résumé. I placed my hand over the telephone mouthpiece, picked up the résumé, held it out to her, and said, "We have no openings." I continued with my telephone conversation.

The woman made no attempt to take the résumé from me and maintained her station near my desk. I completed my telephone conversation, placed the résumé down on the scanner, and said, "We have no openings." She appeared very agitated and said, "Somebody already got the job?" "What job would that be?" I asked. "The job the agency sent me here for." Yet again, I said, "We have no openings." She frowned. I said, "We have no employees. I am the only person here. Obviously, you have come here in error. What is the name of the business to which the employment agency sent you?" She fumbled in her purse, removed an index card, and handed it to me. The card bore the name of an employment agency in Red Bluff (18 miles north of here), my company's name, address, and telephone number, and my name. It listed the "position available" as "office manager." "There has been a mistake, obviously on the part of the employment agency," I said. "Return to them and explain to them that they sent you here in error." She frowned, snatched up the index card and résumé, said something I shall not repeat here, and departed.

About an hour later, the telephone rang. The Caller ID indicated the caller was the employment agency that had sent the woman here. "Good morning," I said. The caller asked to speak to me. "That is to whom you are speaking," I said. "Why did you tell [woman's name] there was no job opening?" "Because there is no job opening," I said. "Did you fill the opening then and not advise us?" the caller inquired. "There is no job opening, there was no job opening, there never has been a job opening, and most likely there never will be a job opening," I replied. "You haven't heard the last of this," the caller said, slamming her telephone receiver into its cradle.

A few minutes later, the telephone rang. The Caller ID indicated it was the employment agency once again. I assumed the error had been found and the call would be an apology. "Good morning," I said. "This is [caller's name] from [agency name], calling for David Harter." "This is David," I answered. "Well, I'm the manager here," the caller said. "So let's see if we can't resolve this communication problem and get things back on track here." "I have grown unduly wearied of the travail and shall have no more of it," I said. "I shall leave you, then, to your own devices. Have a nice day."

I have received no further communication but shall report here in full if I do.