The Honest Hiker, Homos on the Range, -and- Snake Eyes

The Honest Hiker - man finds $1 million in jewelry, turns it in
Homos on the Range - "Brokeback Mountain" banned in the Bahamas
Snake Eyes - man crashes car after pet bites him

POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday.)
Q: When a farmer in the Army is jilted, what sort of mail does he receive?

The weather continues to disappoint me. While it is encouraging to watch the news and see far more dismal weather elsewhere, this encouragement is very fleeting indeed. It was reported yesterday that San Francisco has suffered the wettest March in history, experiencing 24 days of rain for the month. This news prompted me to remark to a client who was in my office at the time this was reported on the Fox News Channel, "Ah, it could certainly be worse!" The satisfaction of realizing that San Francisco had more rain this month than we had here soon faded, as I gazed into the Web cam feed on my Desktop and saw the storm clouds looming.

While wet weather this time of year is not altogether rare--I can recall a few damp Easter egg hunts--it is highly unusual for the dismal days to so greatly outnumber the pleasant days.

My client said that soon I would be complaining about the heat. I assured her that the possibility of this happening was considerably less likely than the threat of abduction by aliens. At this point, she said, "That's not anything to joke about!" Whatever credibility I had previously granted her disappeared.

Here is another image of Linda Ronstadt, taken at a concert at Hughes Stadium, Sacramento, CA, in 1974. Click to enlarge.

Fear and Loathing on the Web, This Isn't My Stop!, -and- The Roaming Gnomes

Fear and Loathing on the Web - Harrison Ford hates the Internet
This Isn't My Stop! - passenger plane lands at wrong airport
The Roaming Gnomes - lawn ornaments mysteriously migrate

Grilling season will arrive someday! In anticipation of this, here is one of my original marinade recipes:

Spicy Grilling Marinade/Sauce
4 oz raw thistle honey
4 oz tequila
2 limes, juice of
4 tbsp garlic, pureed
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp red pepper flakes
1 tbsp cilantro, chopped
1/2 tbsp oregano, chopped
1/2 tbsp basil, chopped
1/2 tbsp ginger, minced
1/2 tbsp ground cumin
Combine ingredients in warm glass mixing bowl. Mix ingredients slowly with bamboo brush. Pour marinade into plastic storage bag and add fowl, fish, or meat to be grilled. Seal bag and refrigerate for four to six hours (or overnight) before grilling. Baste often while grilling.

Here is a photograph I took of Linda Ronstadt in concert at Hughes Stadium, Sacramento, CA, in 1974. Press credentials allowed me to go backstage, where I enjoyed a brief visit with Linda.

Cat Gone Wild, I Want That!, -and- Don't Answer!

Cat Gone Wild - crazy cat terrorizes Connecticut town
I Want That! - boy climbs inside toy-claw machine
Don't Answer! - cell-phone calls spark panic

The South Carolina state Senate on Tuesday endorsed making repeat child rapists eligible for the death penalty. The proposal allows prosecutors to seek the death penalty for sex offenders who are convicted twice of raping a child younger than 11.

The proposal was approved as part of a larger bill that sets minimum sentences and lifetime electronic monitoring for some sex offenders.

Here is a photograph I took of Sammy Hagar in concert at CSUC in the mid-1970s. Click to enlarge.

Finding Fido, Dancing in the Street, -and- Fighting Back

Finding Fido - dogs forced to get microchips
Dancing in the Street - Eagles linebacker busted
Fighting Back - girl attacks abductor with hammer

POSERS: (Congratulations to Cap'n Jack!)
Q: How does Scott Peterson call his parents?
A: On his cell phone
(Congratulations to Danica Anderson!)
Q: What are you likely to find on a foggy day in the jungles
of Bogotá, Columbia?
A: Guerrillas in the mist

There was no blog entry yesterday, because I stayed home with Laura. She underwent minor surgery early yesterday morning, and the doctor suggested that I stay with her for the day and see to her needs. The surgery was brief and successful, and she is resting and mending. She went into surgery at 8:30 AM, and at shortly after 10 AM, we were on the way home from Chico. We used my mother's Lincoln for the journey, so that Laura would not need to make the ascent into RAMMMMM.

Laura wishes to thank all who have prayed for her and wishes to share another of her flower photographs. Click to enlarge.

If you spent part of your youth playing "Pac-Man" and "Space Invaders," today's violent video games must seem bizarre. Video games were innocent diversions that did nothing worse than eat up dotted lines. Nobody got hurt.

Devin Moore, a teenager, murdered three people-–two police officers and a 911 dispatcher-–in a Fayettesville, Alabama, police station in 2003. Arrested on suspicion of car theft, Moore was brought in for booking and ended up on a bloody rampage.

Moore was a huge fan of a notorious video game called "Grand Theft Auto." As the title suggests, the goal is to steal cars. The way to acquire and hold on to the cars is to kill the police officers who try to stop you. If you shoot an officer, you get extra points for shooting him in the head.

According to court records, Moore spent hundreds of hours playing "Grand Theft Auto," which has been described as "a murder simulator."

Tomorrow, he will testify before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee's Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Property. The purpose of the hearing is to examine the constitutionality of state laws regulating the sale of ultra-violent video games to children. Three psychologists will testify about the potential link between playing violent video games and copycat violence.

It must be determined whether Moore and other murderers like him are anomalies or if ultra-violent video games dangerously warp the psyches of youthful gamers.

Girls Gone Wild, Pants on Fire, -and- Revenge

Girls Gone Wild - six busted in wet T-shirt contest
Pants on Fire - Castro burns underwear
Revenge - South Park character played by Isaac Hayes turned into pedophile and killed off

POSER: (Answer will appear on Monday.)
Q: How does Scott Peterson talk to his parents?

Spring has sprung--a leak! What a disappointment it was to arise, peer out the window, and see rain! I shall not trouble myself with viewing weather forecasts, since they are traditionally unreliable. I shall, however, continue to await the arrival of sunshine, warmth, blossoming flowers, and singing birds!

RAMMMMM has been plagued of late with a worn door hinge. It became progressively more difficult to close the door, yet I have for some reason allowed this annoyance to continue. Yesterday, the door hinge was replaced. What a joy it is to have a properly functioning door once again! Now, I must re-train myself to discontinue slamming the door as I have become accustomed to doing! Click to enlarge.

Here is a photograph that Laura wishes to share. She took it three years ago in my mother's flower garden. Click to enlarge.